


Different kind of confession

by rasalas



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M, and abigail griffin, mention of the 100, the 48 - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-27
Updated: 2014-11-27
Packaged: 2018-02-27 03:15:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2676938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rasalas/pseuds/rasalas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written from Bellamys POV, after S2E4 "Many happy returns" and like half of E5. I really wanted to just write something, and this is what I came up with.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Different kind of confession

"It's really hard sometimes, you know? My life hasn't exactly been sunshine and rainbows so far, but I always, _always_ had something to live for - Octavia. Someone to protect, someone to help, and someone to light up my life. 

Octavia has always been the reason for me to get up every morning and try to do my best. I'd do anything for her - hell, I even shot the Chancellor for her sake.

Then _she_ walked in to my life. Clarke.  She was stubborn, stuck up, and to be completely honest with you, the first time we met I hated her, just because of those reasons. She'd lived her entire life not having to worry about anything. Life for her must've been like a walk through clouds, with a father and a mother who loved her and that guy Wells as her best friend. Sure, it wasn't like she'd lived in some kind of luxury since everything on the Ark was rationed, but at least she didn't have to grow up with the fear that lived inside me for so long. 

It took Clarke and I a while to even accept eachother, and even more time for us to develop something close to mutual respect. So when did the feelings arrive? I don't know, and when I think back I can't remember the moment that I looked at her and actually realised how beautiful she was.

I mean, it wasn't like I hadn't noticed that she was attractive (because she was, and I had definitely noticed that). It was just more than that, more than something as simple as attractiveness. It was how even though she most of the time was covered in mud, blood, or sweat, she looked like she was shining. Even at her darkest moments, when she though that life was at it's lowest, she still shone. 

And let's be honest, life on earth had so far showed us pretty few perks. Sure, it was nice not being trapped in a metal cage up in space, and I loved the fact that Octavia's existence wasn't forbidden anymore, but having been hunted by Grounders, Reapers, and Mountain Men? Being drugged by weird nuts that Monty said was completely safe to eat? The not-so-thrilling experience of running away from acid fog? Seeing more than 50 people die? We where once the 100, and after that, the 48. And now? I don't even know. 

Sometimes I dream back to when we just arrived to Earth, and the only thing we had to worry about was the Grounders. Not Reapers, the adults from the Ark or getting our people out from Mount Weather.  

For the last month, all my focus has been on getting our people out from that hellhole mountain. We spied on them, but it gave nothing. We tried to get close  - nothing. Nothing we did helped, and Clarke didn't know a way in besides the way she got out (which, as you can see, is a bit problematic). Then it happened. 

No mather how careful we were when sneaking around they must've found us some way. Security cameras,  _something_ , I don't know. They came one night, raided our camp.

If you've never been in a situation like that, it's really hard to imagine it, no matter how well I try to describe it. 

But anyway, we had put up camp about 500 meters away from the mountain, at what we thought was a well hidden spot. We ate, made plans for the coming morning and went to sleep. Clarke took the first guard, and woke me up when it was my turn. 

My best guess is that they came around two hours after I woke up. Both Clarke and Octavia were asleep, and I would be lying if I said I wasn't dozing off a bit. I still blame myself so, so much for that. If I just would've been more alert, things would've been different.

I think they had us surrounded as soon as they got there. There where some kind of gas and... I don't know. The rest happened so quickly. We tried to run, all of us, in the same direction. Adrenaline was pumping through my veines, and everything I heard was screams. I yelled at Clarke and Octavia, they yelled at me, the Mountain Men where yelling at eachother."

Bellamy took a deep breath and lifted his gaze from his hands to Clarke's mother, as she was sitting in front of him. She had been listening carefully the whole time. She had tears in her eyes, and any second they would pour over and roll down her face. He was so drunk, he didn't hesitate one time telling her everything.  


"We tried to get away, but they were everywhere. It was a lot of running back and forth. And some time in all of this mess, I heard Clarke yell "I'll distract them!". That stubborn girl, she shone even then. One last look at her, and then she disappeared, along with most of the Mountain Men that decided to follow her. At the same time I heared Octavia scream out, and I saw the blood that now stained her t-shirt. A hit, right in the stomach. Clarke was nowhere to be seen, but there was still a few Mountain Men around Octavia and me. 

So I took a choice. I took Octavia and ran. I ran with her supporting herself on my arm for what felt like hours. Eventually we were able to shake of the Mountain Men, and after that we went here. So here we are now. I am sitting here, drunk of my ass and Octavia in the infirmary, recovering from a surgery that you don't know if she will survive. I don't know what to do if Octavia doesn't make it. Especially not now, when I don't know what will happen to Clarke either. The only two persons I have ever loved, are now either dead, are going to die, or might die. And I don't know how I'm going to handle it.

She sacrificed herself for us, and I don't know if I will ever see her again."

 


End file.
